my life seem 2 in a big mess...

y cant i get over her???
i thought tat i haf given up on her le i wont mind her tat much le...
seem tat when the feeliin 4 her is not there le then i wont feel so ouch le..
seem lik i haf no feeliin of anything...
not lik last time...
small little thing can let me high...
haf 2 mood 2 do things..
now...
i just do things tat i haf 2..
haix...
mayb i must wait till time passes..
mayb lik this i will lost feeliin 4 her...
mayb..
or things 4 me 2 do 2 let me unable 2 think of other things...
then if tat the true...
i still haf 2 haf this type of fuck up feeliin till at least next..
cause next yr i will b in army le...
after tat i will very busy..
cause mostly i will go oversea 2 study le...
if i am not wrong...
when i go oversea..
becca wont b bug by me le ba...
wont feel irritated le ba...
n mayb after i come back from my studys...
she may don even rmb hu the fuck i am le...
she oso may b married n oso may haf kids le ba...
i told myself le...
if i reach 30 i still don haf a gf...
i will single till i die ba...
but hu knows...
hahaha
is seem tat i do haf alot of problems...
i really don know wat is happeniin 2 me...
my body..
those joints...
this few days..
the pain is gettiin worst n longer le..
most of it...
the pain in the head is gettiin worst...
mayb is bcuz i don sleep 2 much le ba..
n the timiin of my sleepiin is lik anytime...
i really really do not know wat 2 do le...
i know i should study...
n save up...
but other then tat wat can i do??
sometime i wish tat i was a single-minded ppl...
at least i wont b thinkiin tat much...
at least i will b happier...
some time i really wan 2 just shout..
let everything come out..
but eveytime i just keep back..
haha
finally...
my body is startiin 2 b tired le...
ok le la...
time 2 go my lala land le...
don know 2morrow can wake up in time ma...
hope so ba...
nite..
bit bit