wat am i doiin??

wat am i doiin lately??
doiin things..
but don seem 2 haf heart in doiin anythingy...
haix..
some more my skin problem is gettin worst le..
gd luck 4 me le wor...
haix...
now i think i know y do some ppl feel tat i everytime need ppl pity le...
cause they feel tat i wan ppl 2 pity on me...
is just tat i fake my laugh till i don even know when am i really laughiin or fake again...
mayb i haf 2 stop 2 make fun of myself...
stop puttiin on a clown mask le...
wear the old mask back...
mayb...
see lor i try lor...
hopefully if i change, my suxiin life mayb much more happy le ba...
it`s still feel so hurt when even she scold me or talk about her bf thingy...
haix..
am i tat worthless 2 her...
as in a useless person 2 her??
haix...
i know i aint a very usefully person...
but am i tat worst tat i don even worth 2 b talk about???
haix...
hate it so much...
haix

sch endiin wat 2 do ltr on???

sch goiin end soon...
but i do haf a nite class...
but is just a 2 day a week..
mean tat i got alot of time...
i rejoin tkd le...
haix..
don know is my leg able 2 take it ma...
head level kick cause alot of pain in my kneel..
haix..
don know la..
see lor...
slowly train ba..
or don kick head level..
see ba..
hope my leg will last...
haix..
the week after next i will w0rkiin alot le...
then wait 4 army...
is been almost a month i never see rebecca le...
don know how is she doiin now...
haix...
kind of haf is strong feeliin of hafiin a gf..
or mayb just wan some1 2 peii me ba...
nowadays...
i start 2 become lik last time lik tat...
everyday stay at hm doiin nth...
haix...
now is lik darn boriin at hm lor...
don know wat 2 do...
haix..
but mayb after my pay comes...
buy the rc plane or heli..
i will putiin all my energy in it ba...
goiin 2 china next week...
hopw 2 haf a gd time over there ba...
should b ba..
cause i lik those ppl over there..
they r all very kind n gd 2 me...
is been so long b4 i went back 2 china le..
note this i aint china ppl..
just tat i haf kin over there tat all..
there is some many ppl thought i am from china lor..
they say i talk abit lik china lik tat..
sadiin lor...
i am pure singaporean lor...
born n grow up at singapore de lor...
is just tat i sometime hang out wif china ppl so i may sometime use their way of talkiin..
just 4 the fun...

my life seem 2 in a big mess...

y cant i get over her???
i thought tat i haf given up on her le i wont mind her tat much le...
seem tat when the feeliin 4 her is not there le then i wont feel so ouch le..
seem lik i haf no feeliin of anything...
not lik last time...
small little thing can let me high...
haf 2 mood 2 do things..
now...
i just do things tat i haf 2..
haix...
mayb i must wait till time passes..
mayb lik this i will lost feeliin 4 her...
mayb..
or things 4 me 2 do 2 let me unable 2 think of other things...
then if tat the true...
i still haf 2 haf this type of fuck up feeliin till at least next..
cause next yr i will b in army le...
after tat i will very busy..
cause mostly i will go oversea 2 study le...
if i am not wrong...
when i go oversea..
becca wont b bug by me le ba...
wont feel irritated le ba...
n mayb after i come back from my studys...
she may don even rmb hu the fuck i am le...
she oso may b married n oso may haf kids le ba...
i told myself le...
if i reach 30 i still don haf a gf...
i will single till i die ba...
but hu knows...
hahaha
is seem tat i do haf alot of problems...
i really don know wat is happeniin 2 me...
my body..
those joints...
this few days..
the pain is gettiin worst n longer le..
most of it...
the pain in the head is gettiin worst...
mayb is bcuz i don sleep 2 much le ba..
n the timiin of my sleepiin is lik anytime...
i really really do not know wat 2 do le...
i know i should study...
n save up...
but other then tat wat can i do??
sometime i wish tat i was a single-minded ppl...
at least i wont b thinkiin tat much...
at least i will b happier...
some time i really wan 2 just shout..
let everything come out..
but eveytime i just keep back..
haha
finally...
my body is startiin 2 b tired le...
ok le la...
time 2 go my lala land le...
don know 2morrow can wake up in time ma...
hope so ba...
nite..
bit bit