almost a fall.. almost...

haha what the hell did i do again..

i let the person that i lik know about it??

feelin is alway a thing that i cant control!!

but again, i am happy that she knows..

cause my heart feel pain!! really pain, pain till i wan to hide away again...

hahahaha

at least i still feel pain..

is been so long since i feel anything le..

the pain at least show me that i still a human

hahaaha

lucky there is alway family to hold me back, able to let me stand up again..

i not sayin family is there for me, i mean i have to take care of my family that y i cant fall not till i clear the debts...

haix...

i really feel that she is the one that able to hold me up..

i know is kind of bad that i need her that y i lik her..

i lik her first b4 i need her..

there`s a sayin, u love her because u need her n u need her that y u love her..

it sound the sound but infact is diff!!

haix..

is kind of hit me the hardest is she tellin me she lik me as a brother de lik..

the reason y i see fact is because there is higher % of seeing the truth...

sometime i rather see hope..

but yet, hope is alway seem then b there..

she reply saying u know me for so many yrs...

what does that means???

she will still b friends with me even if i tell her i lik her??

or she just need sometime single before being attach??

or other meanin??

this is what i hate about hope, they give u all kind of answers...

good n bad...

knowing myself, i will choose the bad side..

but i really hope that is the good side!!!

seriously, i also understand why people wont lik me...

i often hide who i am.. do stupid things, and with this stupid blood problem that will make my skin to be this way!!! how many people can understand and take it??

even me myself sometime could not take it..

haix...

life is never easy for anyone at all..

haahaha

laugh is the only thing i can do to face life!!!

hahahaa