mayb is time 2 gif up...

mayb is time 4 me 2 gif up le...
but again...
y do i still hang on...
partly is i am afraid...
how many gals will able 2 b wif me wif the skin problem i haviin...
ya..
there is a sayiin...
no matter how bad u look...
as long as i love u...
but b4 ppl love me..
i guess my skin problem may scare them away...
but again...
is just a mayb...
i am a person tat keep 2 myself alot...
n i don darn 2 step in2 a area tat i don know...
is it the time 4 me 2 step out???
haix...
sometime i rather 2 live i was..
i don care how others look at me...
do wat i lik...
or in a way i think is right...
but...
in life ppl haf 2 move on...
no matter how much wanted 2 turn around...
no matter how many time u haf done wrong...
as long keep tryiin...
we r able 2 ans 2 ourself...
no matter is gd or bad...
fail or pass...

there is only 1 life 4 every1...
every1 will n can haf a sec chance...
but yet...
hu will gif a sec chance??
is every1 haf a sec chance???
haix...
this is life...
life is alway a question...

now i am 21th le...
there more heavy loads on my shoulder le..
family..
life..
sch
army...

family??
haix..
not goiin 2 talk 2 much about it...
just dissapointed..

life??
1 word...
sux..

sch...
hahaha..
was lik hell...
almost unable 2 keep up...
hopefuly i could pull through..

army??
BEST SIA...
i tot officer should settle problem then let it worsts??
then in the end i haf 2 get in 2 settle..
hu am i??
i just a PTE SAMUEL...
wat could i do??
wat can i do??

over all...
my life is sure a 'happeniin' thing 2 see...
but this is life??
hu 2 blame??
hmmm good question...

times passes...

time really pass fast...

now i am 21th le...

2day is rebecca 19th bday...

haix...

but the most sad part about bday is...

my only bday party..

my 21th bday party sux...

haix...

my parent don really care if i am cutiin my cake...

yes...

they came...

wif their friends...

play n chat wif them...

how about me??

my cake is out...

candle is lighted...

but...

haix...

till i almost blow my candle then they appear...

haix...

after my bday..

alot of my friends couldnt turn up...

my chalet was lik a ghost town...

let see...

when next wed comes...

i want 2 see...

does everything changes??

my luck my life...

since tat guy say everything will go better when i reach 23(in my chinese bday)

i will see...

how will it changes...

ppl say guy will change 2 another person when they r 21th...

let see wat i will bcome..

but y do i haf a feeliin i will go back???

hopefully i wont...

haix...

hu care how i feel?

hu i am 2 others...

standiin on this world is myself..

wat i do is wat i do...

aint by any1...

i care ppl but i don get anything back..

worst...

i get worst 2 come...

hahaha

mayb just mayb...

i should just b alone...

aint it better???

i wont feel hurt nor pain..

i laugh i smile...

does it mean i am happy???

hmmm

tat a question 2 b ask...

hahaaha

haix...

wat the hell sia...

my life is in a mess sia...

haix...

tryiin 2 make things rite...

haha

i find out i start 2 hide hu i am really is le sia...

everytime ppl don see really hu i am le...

i will just change n change...

haix..

wat 2 do...

hide is oso another way of protectiin myself...

my 21th bday is comiin le sia...

haix...

but my skin isnt gettin better sia...

wtf sia...

so is my bike lesson...

hahaha

still at p 1...

saded...

diao...

hopefully 2morrow is another better day...

life is diff everyday...

wat is feeliin??? seem lik there is no way i could run away..

is nov now...

another 3 months will b my 21th birthday...

alway wanted some1 2 celebrate wif me..

but seem lik i haf 2 celebrate myself again...

21th birthday i quite important 2 me...

but yet i haf 2 celebrate myself again...

so wat if i got alot of friends??

hahaha

i still haf 2 celebrate myself...

sux feeliin...

but yet this is life...

it alway sux`s...

isnt it??

i smile i laugh but my heart is not tat way...

wtf..

weariin a mask???

not really..

smiliin 2 other is another way of me 2 get around wif things...

even if i smile even if i am not happy does not say i am actiin or fakeiin..

is just i haf 2...

i joke i talk cock...

n tat is wat u think i am..

then u r wrong i am more than tat...

is just tat i never show hu i am r...

mayb is another way 2 protect myself from beeniin hurt again...

hu is able 2 understand hu i am???

haix...

hmm i found out i start 2 bcome emotionless le...

i really need some1 help..

but..

i never receives...

hope 2morrow is a better day...

hope n pray

heart of life...

feeliin is the only thing we briin when we r bought 2 life by our parents...

but yet is the thing tat we forgot about it often...

feeliin not only 2 ourself but 2 others...

even tot tat we r born alone...

but feeliin is the thing tat bring others together...

but yet...

people don believe in feeliin..

most of the time is 2 protect ourself...

we don show feeliin 2 others...

feeliin is the start of all things...

feeliin is everything...

everything we do we haf...

is all link up wif feeliin isn`t it???

but yet..

trust believe love understand...

is the things tat people don do or believe..

human is the smartest of all liviin things in earth...

but yet was unable 2 do a very very simple thing...

tat is see how feeliin feels...

in fact...

i see tat is wat human r born 2 b...

haviin feelins...

wifout it...

i don think u are human at all...

y we don believe in feeliin...

most of the time is because we were mislead by our thinkiin...

in a way...

we became lik this is because we human born 2 b smart...

able 2 think..

by that...

we cannot fully feel wat we feels...

never use ur heart 2 think never use ur brain 2 feel..

we feel first before we think...

never think that we feel...

cause it will in the end mislead us...

we never think all our life...

but we will feel through our life...

heart is what form human...

brain is what we use 2 feel..

as simple as say...

but is the most hard 2 b done...

there really a up n down in my life lately...

when i thought my life is gettiin better...

it just went another way...

hahaha

but this is life...

isn`t it??

hahahaha

i do alway lik the wrong person...

wth...

hahahahahaha

smile...

keep on climbiin still...

wat wrong wif my dream???

shit lo...
i dream of rebecca again...
somemore her brother was in it...
the dream was...
i saw her brother...
play wif him..
then don know y he was missin...
then rebecca appear..
scolded me then went running around find him...
i went around findiin him oso...
in the end i did find him...
then she was very happy n angry...
after tat we had a talk...
the feeliin was so gd lo...
but b4 anything happen...
i wake up from my dream le...

haix...
nowaday...
i been smokiin alot...
n not been myself...
as in do wat oso can able 2 do or think seem lik my mind was else where...
i know i always don care things..
but i getiing worst lately...
haix...
i don know wat i should do le...
just do wat other ppl wan me 2 do...
never really care wat i wanted le...
haix...
been busy in army lately...
but...
haix...
hope 2morrow is a better day ba...

hmmmm...

hmmmm....

i tot my unlucky is gone...

haix...

it came back again...

hahaha

worst somemore...

bang bike 2 time

lost wallet 2 time

somemore in a month...

hahaha

sleepless nite again...

darn tiriin of life le...

is lik i needed 2 talk 2 someone..

but there isnt any...

does not means tat i joke around smile laugh around mean tat i am happy...

haix...

problem tat i really don know how 2 settle...

or is it i don care???

haix...

is true tat i got gd friends..

but..

they r busy wif their things oso...

haix...

i know is my problem...

but i couldnt cry tat the problem...

by the way...

i will b quite blur lately..

cause all the things happen have make me blur...

haix...

cant cry is a very big problem..

hmmm...

kind of lik jaslin...

but...

haix..

nth really gd happen when i lik a person...

is lik tat person wont lik me de...

as a stead la...

haix...

with the first look...

people will think tat...

i am lik a grewup kid...

20 yr old le still lik a kid lik tat...

hahaha

ok la...

i do have a kid in me...

but isnt everyone have 1 in them???

O.o???

is just tat i rather the kids side is out most of the time...

like tat isnt the mind at the most relax???

i mean...

when the time 2 b a adult...

i will b one...

but normally...

what 4 beiin so serious??

relax...

enjoy...

tat is what a kid will do...

that is what a kid does..

n ofcause that is what a kid know 2 do..

they r happy...

aint they???

if in life u cant b happy...

then what the meaniin of life then???

for me...

enjoy your life...

orelse...

what u do with your life then???

sad???

angry???

i never believe that a person never happy before...

is just that do the person really know about it???

haix...

when could i find a girl that i love as much or even more then rebecca???